Let’s face it, when you have hang ups about body image, and 91% of woman do, it’s not a easy task… to fuck, to screw, to bang, to reproduce, to copulate, to pork your lover, to booger my bed, to hump your honey, to get laid, to lay some pipe, to hide the salami, to slam (or to get slammed), to bury the bone, to stuff the donut, to moisten the carpet, to dine in the Y, to munch on the rug, to slam the hen, to shoot the sherbert. Whatever the term you use to describe SEX!

Let’s get the focus off of sex and talk about the feelings. The sensation and ultimate pleasure that we deny ourselves (and partners) when we get into hating our bodies!

Here are my top 8 tips to achieve mind blowing sex!



Open your mouth and speak up about what it is that you are having a difficult time with. I think that being honest is a great way to get a firm grasp on truly understanding what you are giving up. Even if you’re not in a relationship… you are still denying yourself pleasure. If you are in a relationship, consider if the shoe was on the other foot, would you be ok with a sexless relationship that also lacked intimacy? The answer is NO. So, let’s get clear about what it is exactly… is it that you feel like your boobs look weird from a certain angle? Is it the way that you feel ashamed because you like the lights off? Are you comparing yourself to other woman?


You know the saying when you look good you feel good. It’s the same for my bedroom. I am not having sex on top of a laundry pile or in a mess… and don’t start with the comments about how that shouldn’t matter. Make this room in the house as close to “sexy” as you can get!

  • Soft sheets
  • Great Lighting. (This is key ..dimmers are great!)
  • Candles

These are a few of the requirements for my “red room.”


Make a game out of it, a little ”you go… I go” That way it makes you both vulnerable at the same time, while adding a little fun tease!


You know what I am talking about ..maybe you know how to give the best oral in the world ,or know exactly what to do to make the toes curl and the earth shatter like no other. We all have the ability to let our “freak flag fly,” if you don’t know what this is, go listen to a little Nicki Minaj and get inspired. There is no greater feeling of knowing what makes you feel in  control and empowered in the bedroom!


You know there is something to be said about beautiful things.. Especially beautiful things that bring you confidence. I am not 19 years old anymore. Even before cancer I had my hang ups. I just learned that if on any particular day where I am having an “off boob day” Instead of denying myself sex or any form of intimacy I will just put on something that makes me feel sexy, like a half corset (great for ostomies!) or sheer nighties. ect.

Here are some links to a few of my favorite shops on Insta:


I’m not talking about calling grandma and asking her how her and grandpa kept the flame going for a thousand years…NO. I’m talking about porn! Erotic novels… talking dirty. Go ahead and explore the world wide web. I won’t tell. Alone or with your partner it’s sure to get you inspired!


Take those boudoir photos. Take that pole dancing class. Whatever it is that you always deep down wanted to do… DO THAT SHIT! Then tell me it didn’t change you in some type of way. Look for things that are empowering that will help you embrace loving your body and letting someone else love on it too. For example burlesque… I am in so much awe over these women!


Go look in a mirror and hit on yourself you sexy mother fucker! Seriously, this girl has your back, she fights for you, she is with you good times and bad, she always wants the best for you, so go tell her how much you LOVE and appreciate her!  No one is going to love this girl more than you… not even her mama!

To wrap up this blog post… self love is NOT easy but in order to rise up and really enjoy ourselves today, we have to try new, and sometimes uncomfortable things to get the results we crave.

Sex is a gift we give ourselves and to our partners. It is not something we should forgo because of this idea of not being “perfect” enough. It’s too bad we couldn’t have been born with unlimited confidence to walk through life with no shame or fear of rejection. As I’ve grown and worked on my own body issues, I have come to the conclusion that my body is fuckin amazing! I am a gift… not only that, but I am able to give and receive love. Stop thinking you have to be some type of way for X.Y.Z… you are enough!

If you found the tips in this blog post to be helpful… feel free to share.  If you tried some of these tips I would love to hear how they worked for you tell me in a comment below.



PS- The art that was used for this blog post is unknown

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